Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Man Laws: Revisited

Learn them, know them, obey them.

• Never use a urinal side-by-side to another dude. Always leave AT LEAST one between you and the next man, NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU HAVE TO PEE.

• Never call ya boy, and just sit on the phone,
and also if you can avoid it, never call while you're laying down in the bed or couch.

• never fix your boy a plate, let that nigga get his own ish....You are not that niggas woman.

• If two men are competing for the same woman, don't trick or playa-hate to gain the upper hand. Both are fouls of the highest order.

• DO NOT PLAY BUMP & GRIND-type SONGS WHILE IN THE CAR WITH ANOTHER MALE

• Don't go to the movies with your homeboy unless you have some female dates or some ish...
If you do so happen to end up at the movies with ya nigga, sit at least, AT LEAST, two seats apart.

Dont share no popcorn,....Your hands might touch, and that would be gay.

• Never call a nigga after midnight, unless its a life or death emergency.

• never walk side by side in the mall unless one of you is on the cell phone...and the other is hollering at a female across the walkway.

• you NEVER ask a dude what kind of Cologne he is wearing. If you like the cologne, simply say WHAT THE FUKK IS THAT SMELL and pray that he'll say IT'S MY _ _ _ _ _ _ COLOGNE. If he doesn't reveal the name, then you are allowed to resort to Plan B: one day b4 you go out, purposely forget to put on cologne & ask his permission to pick one from out of his collection

• Pussy is not worth losing your job. Ain't a woman alive that looks better than a paycheck...

• If a female dont give you the time of day, even after buying her a drink or two, dont get salty at the next man cause he pulled her on your "dime." Just because you bought her a drink doesnt mean you own her for the night. Make some room for the next man to holla

• It doesn't matter what the song says. Don't fall in love with strippers. They don't like you. They like your money. Their favorite days are paydays and income tax season.

• If you're riding in the car with ya boy. Make sure both of your arms are NOT on the arm rest in the middle at the same time. You possibly could touch elbows or hands, and that would also be gay.

• If you call your boy, and he doesn't answer the phone, when he finally does answer, don't get mad and start crying like a girl, talking bout "why you didn't call me back, why didn't you answer your phone". (unless someone is hurt or dead, or you need him to make up a lie to tell your girlfriend where you was at last night.)

• Never have a 3-some with a woman and another man. There is a one penis per room rule. Cause If any part of his penis touches you or if he touches you at all, you must kill everyone in the room

• never call a woman by the nickname another nigga gave her.

• If you and three of your homies are kicking it at the house and two females come over one of them niggas has to take one for the team and accept the fact that its gonna be a two on two. Don't sit there and try to compete with ya boy over the last remaining female.

• This ESPECIALLY is for your frat brothers/chapter bros/ spec/sands/whomever!!

"If you know a chick is feeling your frat, although YOU tried to holla and she wasn't feelin YOU, Do like Steve Nash and send the assist your frats way, instead of hating ie: "Oh you like him?!! He has a girl I believe" or "he doesn't like Lightskin/Darkskin girls" or "Didn't he mess with your ____________"

• If ya boy pass out drunk on you couch or floor, don't be trying to take that nigga shoes and clothes off, and putting covers on him and ish...Especially me, just leave my shoes and shit on. I'll be good.

• If someone accuses you of doing something gay or being gay and your comeback line is "you're just insecure with your sexuality." You're a fag.

• If your boys are over, by no means will you EVER put in a pr0n flick and be like "Aye yall peep this..." that would be gay and you would be immediately buried up to your neck in sand and stoned.

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